My buddy put this on our Fantasy Football message board, and I have to share:

In about 20 years, here is how I will win the Presidency (when I was in 10th grade, I seriously wanted to be the President).

Issue # 1: Go F yourself world. 90% of the rest of the countries on this planet think the US sticks their nose in the business of other people. I would treat the US like a castle and pull up the draw bridge. We send millions of $ to countries that hate us. F them. Except for countries who have always supported us (England & Australia), we are going to tell everybody else they can go screw themselves because we are done. If the rest of the world wants to go to hell in a hand basket, then they are more than welcome too. I can’t even begin to calculate the money we would save by doing this. I would also take some of the money we are saving and put it back into our military. That way, if something does happen we will be ready to open up a can. This way foreign policy wouldn’t be an issue because we won’t have any foreign policy. Depending on what kind of mood I am in, I might tell the UN to piss off as well. Can you tell other countries really piss me off sometimes.

Issue # 2: “You don’t have to go home, but you have to get the hell out of here.” I will hunt down all of the illegal aliens and get them the hell out of my country. I don’t have a problem with immigrants coming into this country, but I do ask 2 things. 1 – You do it legally. 2 – You speak english. I know some people will say that getting rid of the illegal immigrants would cripple the economy because they do work nobody else wants to do. I say there are plenty of homeless people and other people on welfare who could use a job. You have to put there lazy butts to work.

Issue # 3: If you are a healthy person then you are going to pay a minimal amount for health insurance. If you are a fat / obese person you are going to pay out the a$$ for health insurance. I don’t know what the percentage is, but I know a lot of people in this country are seriously overweight. Overweight people need more healthcare. I would also make it illegal to file a lawsuit against your doctor. The liability they have to carry because of lawsuits is one of the reasons healthcare is so expensive.

Issue # 4: Puerto Rico would become the 51st state of the United States of America. They having reaping the benefits of it for way too long. It’s time they paid taxes just like everybody else. If they don’t want to become a state, then you sale them to some other country and pocket the cash.

Issue # 5: Companies must meet a certain % of telecommuters & there will be a tax break if you live close to where you work and a tax penalty if you live over a certain # of miles. Thank of how much gas would go down if even part of this was done. There is a tax benefit for corporations who allow there employees to telecommute, but I only know of a couple (Google & Best Buy) that take advantage of it on a large scale.

Issue # 6: Abortion and gay marriage will be illegal.

Who wants to be my Vice President?

I think W is one of the biggest idiots this country has ever had for a President. I seriously think he made a deal with the devil to make it back to the office. I don’t think McCain or Obama is the answer. McCain lost to Bush 8 years ago which doesn’t say much that he couldn’t even beat w. I’m still not 100% sure Obama isn’t a terrorist and won’t strap a bomb to his chest and blow up the White House. To the best of my knowledge he has had relationships with outspoken people involved with ani-America groups.

That being said, I have a feeling Obama will get elected just because so many people are sick and tired of Bush. However, if McCain gets elected it will be because of Palin. I want McCain / Palin to win because I want Tina Fey to keep coming on SNL.

Absolutely hilarious!  I’m not sure how much he would help the economy.  We did have Accounting and Economics classes together in college, which were always fun and a struggle.  However, he’s had more real world experience than me, working for accounting firms for the past 5 years.  So, maybe I’m wrong.  Maybe there would be a huge spike in the economy and we’d start selling stuff like Hannah Montana bedding, High School Musical bedding and this like hot cakes.  Everyone is fearing a major recession heading our way, but my trust is in my buddy’s ticket.  I’ve already asked to be a running mate.